“I learned that just beneath the surface there’s another world, and still different worlds as you dig deeper. I knew it as a kid, but I couldn’t find the proof. It was just a kind of feeling. There is goodness in blue skies and flowers, but another force – a wild pain and decay – also accompanies everything.”
“I was eighteen years old. I went out one night with a male cousin and his friends. I felt safe with him. But he gave me a drink and I started to not feel like myself. He took me home to his house. It was dark inside and I could hear people moving around. I heard murmuring in the shadows. I tried to lock myself in the washroom. But they beat down the door. It lasted all night. They took turns. I was still a virgin when it happened. I had goals for myself. I’d started reading at a very young age. I wanted to go to school. But that night everything changed. I didn’t leave my bedroom for months. I wasn’t going to tell anyone. But unfortunately for me, I got pregnant. I was forced to tell my family. My father didn’t believe me. He said: ‘If you’re old enough to get pregnant, you’re old enough to live on your own.’ He kicked me out of the house. He told me: ‘You’ve used your body once. You can use it again.’ I had to beg on the street. I’d go for days without eating. I hid in the bushes outside my house and begged my siblings for food. But they avoided me like I was a disease. I had to abort the baby. I wasn’t mad at the child, but I had no choice. I was completely alone. That was twenty years ago, and I survived. I’m financially comfortable now. And maybe I’ve found some peace. But I’ve never healed. I don’t want anyone in my life. I got married once but I hated the sex too much. Even then I felt alone. I’ll always live like I have nobody. I’ve made a few friends, but in the back of my mind, I’m on my own. Because I don’t want to feel vulnerable. I don’t want to feel weak. I don’t want to cry. I don’t ever want to need anyone again.” (Accra, Ghana)
Monica Bellucci for “Celebrating Made in Grazia” Issue shot by Vincent Peters 2018
They’ve stolen our future.
“… postmodernist pop landscape writing is all projection, a fusion of nostalgia and the Freudian death drive. (Isn’t it great to be an American? Isn’t it great to be slowly killing yourself for the experience?)”
An astronaut aboard the International Space Station shot this photograph of the Green River flowing through deep, red rock canyons in eastern Utah. A main tributary of the Colorado River, the Green flows 730 miles (1,175 kilometers) through Wyoming, Colorado and Utah. The portion of the Green River in this image is just north of Canyonlands National Park.
Bowknot Bend was named for the way the river loops back on itself. Located in Labyrinth Canyon about 25 miles west of Moab, Utah, this river bend runs 7.5 miles (12 kilometers) in a circular loop and ends up 1,200 feet (360 meters) from where it first started. When the two sides of the river merge someday, Bowknot Bend will break off from the main channel and form a lake.
secretive dreams 