Tag: abuse

All of us as women have a friend, or a relative, or have gone through [some kind of abuse] ourselves. There are all of these playful sort of comments on Big Little Lies about women’s manipulation or women’s dirty secrets, but in fact the biggest little lie is how we carry shame about what men have done. We have to learn to use our voice to protect ourself and each other, because there is no shame in what another person has done to us, and it’s time to defend ourselves and demand to be treated with respect. That’s such a profound thought—I just felt privileged to be a part of that story.

Laura Dern (via missdontcare-x)

We found that, upon exposure to sexist humor, men higher in sexism discriminated against women by allocating larger funding cuts to a women’s organization than they did to other organizations.

We also found that, in the presence of sexist humor, participants believed the other participants would approve of the funding cuts to women’s organizations. We believe this shows that humorous disparagement creates the perception of a shared standard of tolerance of discrimination that may guide behavior when people believe others feel the same way.

The research indicates that people should be aware of the prevalence of disparaging humor in popular culture, and that the guise of benign amusement or “it’s just a joke” gives it the potential to be a powerful and widespread force that can legitimize prejudice in our society.

Thomas E. Ford, professor of psychology at Western Carolina University (via baebees)

My guess? Does not just apply to sexism, but also to racism, xenophobia, etc.

queeravenger:

loveisrespect:

What is Sexual Coercion?

If someone makes you feel obligated or forced to do something you don’t want to, you may be experiencing coercion. By definition, sexual coercion is “the act of using pressure, alcohol or drugs, or force to have sexual contact with someone against his or her will” and includes “persistent attempts to have sexual contact with someone who has already refused.”

Think of sexual coercion as a spectrum or a range. It can vary from someone verbally egging you on to someone actually forcing you to have contact with them. It can be verbal and emotional, in the form of statements that make you feel pressure, guilt or shame. You can also be made to feel forced through more subtle actions. For example, your partner might:

  • Make you feel like you owe them — for example, because you’re in a relationship, because you’ve had sex before, because they spent money on you or bought you a gift, because you go home with them
  • Give you compliments that sound extreme or insincere as an attempt to get you to agree to something
  • Badger you, yell at you, or hold you down
  • Give you drugs and alcohol to loosen up your inhibitions
  • Play on the fact that you’re in a relationship, saying things such as: “Sex is the way to prove your love for me” or “If I don’t get sex from you I’ll get it somewhere else”
  • React negatively (with sadness, anger or resentment) if you say no or don’t immediately agree to something
  • Continue to pressure you after you say no
  • Make you feel threatened or afraid of what might happen if you say no
  • Try to normalize their sexual expectations — for example, “I need it, I’m a guy.”

In a relationship where sexual coercion is occurring, there is a lack of consent, and the coercive partner doesn’t respect the boundaries or wishes of the other.

I never see posts like this mention an abuse of power. If a person in a position of power (teacher, professor, boss, internship director, etc.) has sex with a subordinate, even if it seems consensual in every other way, it’s coercion and rape.

realjusticewesteros:

elementary-mydearjoanwatson:

hobbitkaiju:

blackwaifu:

goldstarprivilege:

appropriately-inappropriate:

hellomissmayhem:

gaywitchesforabortions:

tehbewilderness:

the-fly-agaric:

bajo-el-mar:

Reading about abusive men and the way they think. Very unsettling and an incredible book so far. Here are my very professional notes.

what book is this?

This is from “Why Does He DO That” by Lundy Bancroft.

I’m so glad I’m seeing more and more Lundy Bancroft quotes on my dash because this book CHANGES THE LIVES OF ABUSE VICTIMS.

The programs run for rehabilitating abusive men through the courts? Bancroft DESIGNED THEM. His programs are replicated ALL OVER THE WORLD.
He literally wrote THE book on abuser rehabilitation.

Here’s a link to a pdf copy. If you haven’t read this book yet, read this book.

Can we talk about how it seems like the entirety of the book is online on PDF, this making it accessible to anyone with an internet connection?

That is how we stop abuse.

We enable everyone to know what it looks like, so that when it happens, they can shut it down.

Arm yrself with knowledge!

Changed my life, would reccomend.

I am reblogging about this book YET AGAIN because this book is THAT IMPORTANT. Read it, you will not regret it.

IMPORTANT ^^^

Reblogging for anyone who might need this book

-Dany