
Worth day dress, 1865-68
From the Museu del Disseny
There are so many people I have loved.
You have no idea of how disconcerting peace can be.
But I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything … I am going to write a little book for Murray on orchids and I hate them worse than everything.
Maybe this (leaving academia for a chance at something else) is just a story I want to tell myself about who I am and who I could be. But I guess at the end of the day I’d rather tell my own story and let it fail than follow the plot of someone else’s.
Academia is to knowledge what prostitution is to love; close enough on the surface but, to the nonsucker, not exactly the same thing.
What a weary time those years were – to have the desire and the need to live but not the ability.